


The Awkward Play

by hamburgs11



Series: The Youtube Gang [1]
Category: SMPLive
Genre: Awkwardddddd, Callmecharlie, Love Confessions, M/M, Romantic Times, Sad times, but ends happy, talent show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 15:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20509193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamburgs11/pseuds/hamburgs11
Summary: Carson is sent for a loop when he figures out he's in love with his longtime friend Charlie. He's determined to confess in the most awkward and most him way possible. It goes way worse than expected and he has to deal with the fallout when he's confronted.





	The Awkward Play

**Author's Note:**

> I tried not to make it too terrible. But you know. Life. We have to deal with it. But I hope you like it. I love these guys and would never want to make them uncomfortable but I also wanted to share my writing. And there are like no stories for these two so why not?

Carson has been acting pretty weird around the Goop cast and Charlie especially lately. It’s not that he has anything against Charlie, actually quite the opposite but that’s the problem. He didn’t notice it until he had finished another podcast with the whole group and went to go get some food. Well he didn’t notice it right as he went to go get food, he was gathering some chips from the cabinet when he heard shuffling behind him. 

He turned around to the sound, absolutely not jumping as Cooper jumped in his face trying to scare him.

He totally wasn’t scared and humored Cooper as he jumped up and dropped the pile of chips he was carrying. “Got you.” Cooper had a satisfied look on his face as he picked up a bag and ripped it open, not even caring as Carson had his mouth halfway open. Cooper had started to walk away, leaving Carson to pick up his chips, silently vowing to gain his revenge. 

He knew he would fail but it wouldn’t stop him from trying.

“Also.” Cooper turned on his heel, easily sliding with his socks to turn around. “You should keep it in your pants the next time we record. You're being a little obvious.” Now Carson had no idea what he was talking about. Keep it in his pants? He barely had anything to keep in his pants. Not that he wasn’t big or anything but he wasn’t trying to get into anyone's pants. He didn’t want anyone to get in his pants as the phrase referenced.

“What are you talking about? You're obviously going psycho and I do not  **appreciate** the sudden scares from you lately.” Carson stood up, starting for the fridge to get a bottle of water. He wasn’t expecting what came out of Cooper’s mouth next.

“Look, I just don’t want to come up and see a boner when I walk into my own kitchen. So I thought if I scared you, it would also scare it.” His eyes directed down through the fridge to Carson’s sweats. Carson was even more confused now.

“Now what are you going on about? I don’t just have boners. I don’t like dick and balls  **that** much to be into yours.” Carson hissed, grabbing a bottle as he closed the door and started for his room.

“Oh not for me. For Charlie.” 

Carson stopped, hearing the smug smile in Cooper’s voice.  _ Charlie? _ He didn’t have to turn for Cooper to continue. He didn’t want to turn around. “Don’t act like you don’t know. You’ve been laughing at his lame jokes like he was the funniest person on Earth. Like I know you're both a little weird in your humor but you never laughed that much at him before.” Now this is when Carson turned around, seeing Cooper for himself.

“Just because I laugh at his jokes doesn’t mean I’m into the dude. He’s my friend. I’m being nice.” 

Cooper raised his eyebrows, obviously sensing something Carson didn’t. He pretended to sniff for something, aiming his nose at the wall and then to the floor and then back to Carson.

“What is that I smell? Oh right. Bullshit.” He said, standing up straight once again. “Your never that nice. Even when you try to be. You're like the worst at being nice without being awkward. You **_lllooovvveee_** him.” Carson scoffed, turning around not humoring Cooper anymore. What he was spewing out was bullshit like he does half the time. 

No,  **all ** the time.

“Don’t worry. He’s not that smart to realize it. And I don’t care enough about the situation to tell him.” Cooper opened his own door, acting all nonchalant. “Just thought you should know. So you can keep those dick and balls away from me, the only attractive guy in the apartment, in your angst.” Carson took the time to aim the middle finger at Cooper as he finally entered his room and shut the door behind him.

Carson could hear the villainous chuckling from Coopers room.

_ Bullshit. It’s bullshit. It has to be. _

_ I am  _ ** _not_ ** _ in love with Charlie. _

So here he was now. Thinking back on how he had acted towards Charlie before he finally realized he was actually in love with him. It wasn’t easy for Carson to admit and it was even harder because not only did he think he was not gay, but also because Cooper was right.  _ For once. _

He monitored himself in the next few weeks, going over his feelings whenever Charlie talked. The way his heart pounded in his chest when he heard that laugh. The way he wanted to laugh even if the joke would have been so unfunny to him if someone else had said it. Just everything about Charlie suddenly made him want to jump in glee. 

And that’s when he realized he was having those cliche crush feelings. He could practically groan in annoyance at the realization. Pretty sure he did actually, gaining some stares from the rest of the group.

He thought maybe the feelings would naturally go away if he just ignored them. But it became harder when they were going to PAX East. He was in the same room as him- exactly beside him. He tried to keep his distance, Cooper eyeing them every few seconds up from his phone. Carson could feel his eyes on them. And he felt his cheeks flare up every time Charlie was even a few inches away.

He couldn’t keep from smiling at Charlie as said person had started to create a dog on the drawing program.  _ That is not a dog. _ He wanted to laugh, he practically did but he mainly just stared at Charlie as he didn’t feel Cooper's eyes at that moment. 

All he saw was the brown haired goofball he had come to crush on. And in that moment his feelings didn’t feel wrong. Being right beside him and seeing him made his heart swell up an abnormal amount. And then when it came to ending the stream even though it had only felt like a few minutes they had been on, he hesitated. He saw all the gays in the chat and the ship names they were giving him and Charlie and he couldn’t just not blush.

He tried to keep Charlie from ending the stream, getting all up in his space as they fought for the button that would end the stream. Their hands mingling around each other, the heat coursing through Carson’s veins with each touch. 

But Carson couldn’t react. He had to keep focus as he tried to say goodbye to the stream. His loving fans. And he couldn’t give Cooper the satisfaction of being right. He couldn’t. At least not now. 

That was about a day ago and now it was time for Carson to film another video.

He wouldn’t give the satisfaction to Cooper like he had thought a day ago but he was going to confess to Charlie. At least he thought maybe he was going to. He stared at the script on his computer, the script he had created to finally reveal the big news. 

It was cringy and awkward but when was Carson not each of those things? It was his whole schtick.

Carson knew his feelings wouldn’t be matched. But he had to get them out there before they became too much and suffocated Carson like he was in a bag of hot air. 

He had to be rejected so that he would be able to move on.

_ Maybe this is a bad idea. What if he totally ignores me? _

Carson quickly shook the thoughts out of his head.  _ Charlie isn’t like that. He’ll be awkward for a while but he’ll forgive me _ . Carson has never been too confident in going after what he wanted, but he was going to be now. He had already decided. 

He was going to film this talent show stream like he always did with Schlatt. But because Schlatt was busy with his own content and stream, Carson decided to let Charlie, Slimecicle, join along with Traves. It was going to be fun, or at least he hoped. At least until the last part where he gushed his heart out and made it awkward as hell. 

Or maybe his usual awkwardness would balance it out.

It was going to be on discord, random fans coming into their group after interviews in the interview room. Random fans just coming in to show their random weird ass talents and they would judge the hell out of them. He had his own talent that he was going to show off at the end, if he had the balls to do it and didn’t wimp out at the last second.

He saw that Charlie and Traves were already in the judging room column and he took a deep breath.  _ It’s just Charlie. The same old Charlie. All that’s different is you want to jump his bones. Ok that’s not helping but just don’t be weird. Ok that will also not help. Geez I’m bad at this. _

He entered the group with a click. “Hello thereeeeee.”

_ That is not normal you idiot. _

“Carson! You're just in time for me to show off my magic skills.” Carson smiled, hearing the usual energy coming off Charlie. He almost forgot all the awkwardness he was feeling before entering. 

“It is not magic, you ju-” Traves starts.

“SHHHHHH!” Charlie interrupts.

“Come on. Show me then. This better be good or I’m kicking you out of the discord.” Carson said, acting like he wasn’t interested at all. But he knew he was. He was always interested in Charlie lately. He had even begun to imagine his face every time he talked, the way it moved, the expressions he made. It made Carson’s insides all warm.

“Ok. Now watch. As I disappear...” He suddenly booped out of the chat in a mysterious way. No actually not mysterious at all. Carson just stared at his screen and sighed.

“See. Kick him. Ban him. End it all.” Carson laughed at Traves’ suggestions, and then a few seconds later Charlie came back with another boop.

“The wonderful Charldeeni is back.” Charlie stated as Carson imagined him waving his arms like those cliche magicians do on the tv. He could imagine Charlie practically doing any cliche thing.  _ More like Charlweenie _ .

Carson still humored him as he clapped, whooping and hollering. “Yeahhhh Wooo that was amazing Charlie.”

“Really?” Charlie sounded sort of surprised. He should be.

“No.” Carson said. Traves laughed as it went dead silent. Charlie just kind of groaned in disappointment but he was soon back to his energized self.  _ He’s never down for too long _ . “Ok. Now it’s time for the show to start. It’s gonna be a big one guys. I can feel it.” Carson was very vaguely foreshadowing the events that would happen near the end.

“All I feel is that we’re going to be disappointed. Unless someone acts out Shrek is love Shrek is life.” Carson scoffed while Charlie softly laughed at Traves’ comment. Traves was just humoring the idea. Since he knew what was going to happen. 

He was after all in the act that Carson was going to be putting on. He was a big part.  _ It’s a good thing Traves thought this was just a joke. He might not later on but… he won’t be all ditzy for the act for now. _

The show started pretty slow and began with a deep voiced man deepthroating a banana, but Carson’s pretty sure he wasn’t even doing it. So he tried to mimic the sounds without the banana and sure enough. Carson gave him a 3 out of 10. Charlie thought he was being cool and gave him a 4 out of 10 bananas.  _ Charlie is too nice for his own good sometimes _ . Traves gave him a 1 because he wished he had never had to listen to that in the first place.

And then it went onto the next few acts who sang. They were pretty damn good or so Carson thought. Well all of them except the last one who sang the spongebob theme song as he was falling off his chair. 

Carson made him redeem himself by acting out a spongebob episode and it was quite worth it to hear Patrick being nailed by Spongebob in voices that sounded nothing like their actual cartoon selves. 

Carson ended up giving him a 5 out of 10, clapping at the amazing performance. Charlie said he thought it was a bit on the rusty side and could have used more detail, but he gave him a 7 for the storyline. 

Spongebob shoving a fish up Patricks ass was something else. 

Traves commented on how the whole show would be cancelled forever if this was an episode, but he also gave him a 5 because he would want to make Charlie watch it. Charlie was offended by this, blush in his voice at the image.

It was now the second to last act, the last act being Carson, and it had already been quite a wild ride. Everyone in the chat was quite disappointed by the outcome so far and Charlie was getting sleepy although he still sounded like he just drank a bunch of red bulls, even though he never liked those. 

So they waited as the performer finished his interview and appeared in the chat. Carson started out by welcoming him with a hint of sarcasm. Charlies welcome had no hint of sarcasm, just the same kind voice he’s always had with strangers. Traves was half asleep.

“Ok so. I will be singing a song.” Carson almost groaned,  _ like we haven’t heard enough. _ “ But this is actually dedicated to Slimecicle. My muse. My love. I really love you Charlie, I’m such a huge fan.” 

_ Ok. This sounds more like a confession than a song and I’m the only one supposed to be confessing. _

“Oh. Thank you.” Carson could hear the happiness in Charlie's voice, which instantly vaporized his annoyance. Carson knew that Charlie had felt left out at PAX and he would have pulled him into photos but he knew that it would seem suspicious. Carson just always acted the photos were for him and not for his fellow mates, bragging to them afterwards playfully of course. 

So even though Carson did not like how the fan was saying he loved Charlie, he didn’t want to ruin this for him so he kept the jealousy down.

It was a weird feeling for Carson. To be jealous. He had never really been this jealous in his life. Even with Pokimane and Fitz because he wasn’t even really jealous with them. He was mostly happy for them but he had to keep up his joke and not actually approve of Fitz. Because he would just be teased for it for like ever. Well he didn’t even have to be jealous of the Pitz ship. Because it was nonexistent. 

But if it was, he wouldn’t be fazed emotionally. “Go on. Proceeeed.” Charlie continued in a fake british accent, which was way off course.

The guy laughed like a suck up before continuing. 

A guitar started off the song, actually pretty good for his ears. With all the failures he’s heard already he thought no one could be redeemed with a guitar. But here he was. Accepting a guitar, all while there was a pit in his stomach, because this person had said they loved Charlie. 

_ They probably didn’t even mean it like that. And even if they had, it’s not like Charlie would go after it. He’s always said how he liked girls. _

And that was the suckerpunch that Carson needed. 

_ Maybe confessing is a bad idea. _ His stomach started to churn at the thought. Charlie would for sure reject him, he knew this already, but the reality was hitting him at this moment. 

_ If he rejects me and doesn’t talk to me anymore. What will I do? Without his laugh? His presence? The conventions will be awkward as hell. And the Goop cast... _

Carson knew he wouldn’t ignore him, but their friendship wouldn’t be the same. So he decided to push the decision down and just decide when it came to that point. 

Carson had barely started listening only to catch the end of the song in which the performers songy voice was saying ‘how slime is my favorite oh yes sublime’ and Carson was glad he didn’t listen in. 

He just stayed quiet and once Charlie had started clapping, he pretended to clap also. Traves said that wasn’t so bad and clapped with an accepting hmm.

“That was amazing. Don’t you think Carson?” Charlie was practically beaming through his screen and Carson just gave a kind mhm. Charlie was quiet for a moment, like he was thinking. “Uh. Well I give you a 10 out of 10. That was an amazing man. I could even kiss you.” Charlie nervously laughed. And Carson felt another punch to his gut. It was like he was being beaten up by this point.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” The performer answered back, seduction laced in his voice.

“It was sort of cheesy, especially the last line bu-” The performer didn’t wait for Traves to finish as he went back to the interview room. “Ok then.” Carson couldn’t help but laugh at the slip.

It was quiet for a moment as Traves was waiting for the call to action for the play. But Carson was wimping out. 

“Carson? You ok?” Carson could hear the worry in Charlie’s voice and smiled to himself. He said how he was fine and was just thinking. “No. I mean you were quiet throughout the whole performance. Usually you're cheering silently or humming along. Maybe even could have teased him on how the song was for me. Or how gay what we said was.” Carson went silent again.

He hasn’t realized how much these feelings were holding him back. He would have definitely done those things if he didn’t have these feelings for one of his best friends. And so he finally came to a decision. 

He was going to confess. Even if he was going to get rejected. Because no matter how much it scares him to lose the friendship he has, it also hurts way too much to not be honest. And Carson could always just play it off as a joke if it went too far. 

He didn’t want to have that option, but he could if he needed to. Even though his feelings were no joke.

“Actually there is one more act. Everyone turn off their recordings.” Carson left for a moment to the interview room, leaving Charlie to ask who it was to Traves, and Traves telling him it’ll be clear soon enough. 

Traves was curious as to why they had to turn off the recording but they both did, Carson included of course. Carson came back after a few moments yelling. “AND HERE IS THE BEST ACT YET!”

Charlie was confused, looking at the names to see just the three of them. Traves took the silence to start his introductions. “Carson whipped up a play. Carson will be Carson. And I will be Slimecicle.” Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“What? Why don’t I just play Slimecicle? I am he.”

Carson just moved forward, clearing his voice. “Ok. Begin.” He took a moment to catch his breath as Charlie just threw his hands up at his desk, asking himself what the hell was going on. 

Because he was in the dark about a lot of things but this was killing him. It was already killing Carson also, his cheeks blushing hot. He had to keep himself from stuttering from being so nervous.

He should have probably done it in real life, but he would have been way too awkward to get it out and Charlie would just see him as a weirdo who couldn’t speak. I mean Charlie knew him. But Carson couldn’t take that image. This was how he was confessing, and this seemed more like him than anything else.

“Wood fired pizza? How’s pizza gonna get a job now?” Carson came out with, trying to lighten the mood. Charlie just kind of laughed at the stupidity and this time Traves was confused. But Carson was telling Traves to start in chat.

“Hey Carson.” Traves started, obviously reading something. And even though it was just the beginning Charlie knew that this would be awkward as hell. Carson was never too good at making scripts. But Charlie just nervously laughed, trying to be nice.

“Charlie. It’s good to see you. I actually needed to talk to you.” Carson takes a breath, Charlie noticing the slight shiver in his voice. “Things have been weird between us lately. And I need to tell you this.” Charlie could hear the seriousness in Carson’s voice, while Traves was completely bad at acting. Charlie knew it was on rare occasion when Carson would be serious, so he listened intently.

“Oh. Yes. Things have been quite weird Carson. Are you ok?” Traves asked, almost making Charlie scoff at the robotic stance in his voice. Carson thought he should have acted it out with Traves before they acted it out but it was getting the point across and that point was coming up soon enough.

“I actually wanted to tell you. Now this might seem like a joke for the show but I need you to know it is completely true. I’ve been thinking about you for a long time.” Charlie goes quiet. Carson continues on, his stuttering becoming worse as his whole face is now a tomato. “I’m in love with you.” Carson finishes, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders as he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

It’s quiet for a second. 

Carson’s ears waited for any sound from Charlie showing that he heard what he had said. Traves had to finish the play.

“I forgot my line. Charlie?” Traves reads exactly that off his paper, all eyes on Charlie's name in the discord now.

The silence took over.

“What? Is it over? I give my score?” Charlie says, completely confused. “Well it was quite an emotional ride. But I would have liked some kissing noises. Maybe next time.” Charlie started laughing, showing that he thought this was a joke. Carson just went silent.  _ Maybe that’s for the best. _

“Wait wait. Carson this wasn’t a joke was it?” Carson looked up. Traves was ratting him out. He quickly started laughing saying no it’s just a joke. “No. No. I know when you're joking to be cringy. This is not it. You would never just say you were in love with someone like that.” Carson looks off towards his room, trying to stay quiet just as Charlie had become.

“You’re… In love with me?” Charlie’s voice came in clear, his tone serious and not at all riddled with laughter. Just confusion and even more confusion. 

Carson’s chest ached as he couldn’t speak. “But what- what about Pokimane?” Carson peeked up at this, his eyebrows furrowing.

“What about her?” Carson asked.

“I thought since you always got jealo-” Charlie started out, his voice monotone. For once Carson couldn’t detect any expressions on his face and all he saw was a face of a robot.

“It’s just a joke. We all know nothing is going on between her and Fitz. I mean Fitz was practically yelling how much he loved Swagger when he thought he had us muted.” Carson had known something was going on with the pair, but all of it was confirmed that fateful voice chat. No one put it in the video but Fitz confessed to visiting Swagger and them spending a week together before they finally got together romantically. In a way it motivated Carson to come forward about his feelings also with how supportive their group was. 

No matter how many jokes they make, they will always support one another. So Carson wasn’t worried about his other friends, he was worried about Charlie. How he would take this. What he would do.

“No. You. I thought you...Carson. Were in love with her.” Carson widened his eyes at this and almost laughed.  _ No way in hell. She was cool but that didn’t mean I was in love with her. Not at all. I’m in love with you dummy.  _ He almost punched himself at how cheesy that sounded.

“It was all a joke Charlie.”

“Well it started to seem real.”

“Fine. Then I’ll stop. Just. What’s going on with you right now? Are you ok?” Carson was more than worried about his slime of a friend and the fact Charlie wasn’t showing any emotion at all was making him even more nervous.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.” The stuttering began and Carson could tell he was having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea. It shoved a knife through Carson's heart. “Is this. Is this actually real? Are you actually in love with me?” The curious tone in Charlie’s voice almost scared him.

He didn’t want to admit it for real. Towards him. It was too real now and he couldn’t lose his friend. He couldn’t have the risk of Charlie cutting him out even though Charlie wasn’t like that. What if he became that because of what Carson said?

“Can we talk alone?” Charlie asked, Carson realizing that Traves was still in the chat but dead silent. He offered to leave but before he could push that button, Carson yelled for him to stay. Traves reluctantly said he should go.

“Fine. Then I’ll. I’ll just…” Carson couldn’t stop himself before he nervously pushed himself into the interview room. The other person in there saying ‘ready for your last interview?’. 

In the main chatroom Traves asked Charlie what he was going to do about this. Charlie combed a hand through his hair, almost starting to pull it out as so many thoughts were going through his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I just need to talk to him. Is this actually real? Are you sure this isn’t a joke?” Charlie didn’t want to show how scared he was but it was kind of hard to keep his emotions under wraps now.

“Yeah. I think it is. Does that scare you?” Traves offered. 

Charlie just stared at his screen at Carson’s username that was in the interview room. His heart was beating out of his chest, practically waiting to burst out at any moment.  _ Carson? In love with me?  _ He thought for a moment. 

All Charlie knew right now is that he had to talk to Carson. And Carson wasn’t going to make it easy.

Carson was practically bumbling like an idiot to the interviewer, trying to waste time. But then Charlie popped in and Carson almost jumped at the intrusion, even though he was expecting it.

“Carson. We need to talk. So can you just-” Charlie began.

“No. I’ve already said all I needed. I’m done talking. I’m done.” Carson rattled on, clearly shaken up on how to contain his feelings. 

Charlie was silent for a moment, Carson for some reason wanting him to speak but not speak at the same time. 

_ It’s just going to be rejection. It’s just going to be rejection. It’s just going to be rejection. _

No one had ever seen Carson like this before and it scared Charlie in a way.

“Fine. If you won’t leave. I will.” Charlie said, suddenly disappearing out of the room altogether. He didn’t sound mad, but he sounded weird. He was sighing and just sounded exhausted. Carson didn’t know how to continue.

So he turned off his computer with the click of a button and rolled his chair further back into his room. His heart was pounding. His head was thumping. His hands were sweating. 

_ That could have gone better. _ He thought as he got up, frozen for a second before he started to pace. And he paced, and paced, and paced a little more as he kept going over what Charlie must be thinking right now.

_ He probably hates me so much right now… _

_ Why did I act like such a child? _

_ He deserves answers. _

“I can hear that! Shut up I’m trying to stream!” Cooper yelled from the other room, Carson not having the strength to argue with him. He bounced back on his bed, silently whispering to himself.

“I made a mistake. I made a mistake.” He was almost shivering, but not crying. He couldn’t cry. That whole thing didn’t go down in an awkward rejection like he had wanted. It went down in the worst possible way ever. It went down in a fire.

And it was Carson’s fault.

He heard a knock at his door. 

He almost jumped out of his skin as the door opened. Cooper slithering his way in with a smirk on his face. “I can practically hear-” He stopped himself, his whole cocky exterior blasting away from his face. “Hey. What’s wrong?” He came into the room, shutting the door as he came to sit on the bed beside Carson.

Carson was practically white, whiter than he usually was and that was hard. He was mortified by what he had just done. Causing the person who he thought would never run away from him, to do just that.

“Is this about Charlie? Look I might have taken it too far. I’m not going to apologize but I will admit it.” Carson was so in his head, he had barely noticed how Cooper was being human. He knew he could be understanding and all that shit when the cameras were off. When it meant something. But it was a rare sight to see such a serious face on Cooper.

“No. You were right.” Carson’s voice came out croaked as if he hadn’t spoken in years. “And I made him run away because of it.” Cooper patted his back.

“That’s not possible. It’s Charlie.”

“I confessed to him. And he ran away.” Carson confessed, not caring he was admitting it to Cooper. Because it didn’t matter anymore. His whole world was crumbling anyways.

“Oh shit... I’m sorry dude.” He pulled his hand away. “But Charlie always comes back. He’s like a dog with a toy. He’ll come back.” Carson almost laughed. But he shook his head, knowing he ruined this. Even if he did come back, it wouldn’t be in the same way.

There was another knock. But farther away. 

“Oh. I ordered some pizza.” Cooper got up, shooting a look at Carson. “Don’t worry. We’ll just have a night in. I won’t act like such an ass to you tonight.” He gave Carson a smile before Carson tried to give one back. And then Cooper was gone.

There were a few seconds that Carson just stared off into space listening through the thin walls. The door opening, Cooper getting some money out of his wallet, the delivery guy giving him the boxes. And then Cooper thanking him and saying goodbye. But when Cooper was supposed to be shutting the door, Carson heard nothing except hesitance.

“Carson! I need you to come here.” Cooper yelled across the apartment. Carson groaned.  _ Probably needs more money. _ He got up, slouching as he exited his door and started down the hall. As he looked up all he saw was a smile on Coopers face.

_ He must really love pizza… and making me miserable. _

“Looks like your dogs come back. No toy though.” Carson raised an eyebrow.

“What the hell are you-?” He stopped once he saw who was outside the door. His heart stopped beating for a second, seeing Charlie there. Right outside the door in the flesh. 

_ How? Why? What? _

Cooper started walking to his room, patting Carson on the back. “Have fun.” He whispered, Carson not having any time to react before he was gone.

“Bye Cooper…” Charlie whispered, Cooper sending a wave back with the same smirk on his face.

Charlie was fumbling with his fingers, looking up every few seconds at Carson. Carson didn’t want to notice how beautiful the blush on Charlie’s face was, but he just did anyways. Because it was. It was beautiful.

“Can I?” Charlie gestured inside. Carson let out an oh, realizing before he moved out of the way, letting Charlie in. Charlie looked around as if he hadn't been here before. But he had, many times before. 

But this time felt different. Carson slowly shut the door, taking a breath in to calm his nerves before he went over to Charlie.

It didn’t help the nerves at all.

Charlie was over by the island, tapping against its marble as he stared at it intensely. Carson could barely get closer to him as he saw the guy he daydreamed about right in front of him. But that was the problem he needed to fix. He couldn’t daydream about Charlie anymore.

_ He came to reject me in person... _

“Look. Charlie. I’m really sorr-” He started, looking away from Charlie. But Charlie suddenly turned around causing him to stop. “I-I-” He could barely get any words out anymore. 

He covered his hands with his face.  _ This is exactly what I was terrified of. _

He heard footsteps and then felt hands as they pulled his own away from his face. He saw the blush growing more intense on Charlie's cheeks, which made his own blush burst out like an explosion.

“I um. I’ve been thinking. At least on the way here. What you said… that was really brave of you so I should be honest too.” This was it. Charlie was going to break his heart right in front of him. Right here. And there was no way Carson could prepare for it. “I was scared. And not because of your confession. The realness of it. I was scared of it being fake. And I know you would never lie about that stuff but… It was still terrifying.” Carson stared at Charlie as he looked away.

_ What is he saying? _

“Look. Carson. We’re weird. My humor is terrible and yours is a step above mine. A few steps actually. And I never thought this could happen. Like ever. Because you’re Carson. You're amazing in your own awkward way and I-” Carson wanted to jump in, saying Charlie was amazing too, but he was too late. “I’m just the guy that’s been in love with you this entire time.” Carson widened his eyes. He never in his world thought that Charlie would say that with a completely serious expression on. He couldn’t even imagine it.

“What?” Was all he could muster before Charlie suddenly got closer, grabbing his face with both hands. Carson didn’t even realize he was being kissed until a few seconds later and by then Charlie had moved away. He was staring at him, flustered to the max.

“Regret confessing now?” Charlie offered. 

But Carson just chuckled after the initial shock was gone, leaning down a small bit to connect their lips again. They both closed their eyes as they deepened the kiss, feeling only themselves in the room. Because they were the only ones in the room and the kiss was just that damn magical. 

It wasn’t just magical though. It was real. It was Charlie. It was Carson. It was them. It wasn’t just a dream anymore.

Carson moved his hands down to the small of Charlie’s waist, pushing him against the island that he was beside before. Charlie lowered his hands to Carson’s neck pulling his lips in further, causing them to open their mouths and let their tongues roam around each others in the heatness of their mouths. 

Charlie felt a moan escape his lips as they pulled apart for a second, only to come back to each other a second later after catching each other’s eyes. They didn’t want it to end. They both wanted to stay like this forever.

The heat of each other's touch coursed through their bodies each time the other even so much moved their fingers. And the spot felt cold once their hand had moved in an entirely new section of their body.

Charlie gently pushed Carson away, catching his breath as they laid their foreheads against each others. They stayed like that for a moment in the comfort of each other's arms, glancing up at each other to smile. 

This was it. This was the moment that their whole relationship changed. Because this was the moment they realized their feelings were for sure reciprocated.

This is who they would be in love with for the rest of their lives. And it sickened them that it took so long.

Charlie grasped the island behind him and quickly jumped up. But there was a slight maneuver gone wrong and Charlie went tumbling down to the ground. 

Carson barely caught him in his arms before he crashed. 

They just stared at each other for a moment, before bursting into small chuckles. Carson wrapped his arms around Charlie’s back. “Here let me help you. You dutz.” Carson whispered, moving his hands to be underneath Charlies thighs as the ladder jumped up and wrapped his legs around Carson’s waist. 

Carson moved to place him on the counter but Charlie stopped him, moving down to kiss his cheek. Carson’s cheek heat up like a sauna. “I like it here better.” Charlie whispered, pecking Carson on the lips as he was pushed lightly into the island. Charlie weighed almost nothing, making it easier to carry him. 

But the hard part was not getting hard. Charlie could obviously feel it, but Carson didn’t want to scare him away. He didn’t want to pressure him into something. And Carson had little to none experience in doing anything sexual with anyone. 

Charlie could see the thought going into Carson's head and just smiled. He adjusted himself, purposely moving against the boner to tell Carson it was more than fine. 

Carson couldn’t help it anymore and caught Charlie’s lips again.

Being this way with him felt normal. 

They had always been comfortable with each other, so this was just another step in that direction. They didn't feel nervous like they had been before. They just felt calm and loved. And that was a feeling they could get high on. 

But Carson would have also been fine with just cuddling with Charlie and watching a movie. He had never liked to cuddle with anyone so that’s how he knew this was the real deal. Charlie felt the same but he didn’t want to stop what they were doing right now. 

They could cuddle afterwards, he thought.

After he lost his virginity to the love of his life.

But then again, things usually don’t go off this well without a hitch.

That hitch was Cooper.

They heard his footsteps, which sent their eyes shooting over to him running into the kitchen with his hands over his eyes, searching everywhere with his hands. “I heard moaning. But I need food so stay away.” Cooper opened the fridge, grabbing as many snacks as he could before he covered his eyes again.

He then turned to them, not looking. 

“Boner begone.” He sent out his hand like he was casting a spell and Charlie and Carson looked at each other concerned. 

“Get the hell out Cooper.” 

Cooper chuckled as he ran away back into his room like the insect he was. But in a way Carson was glad he was in his life. If he hadn't been, Carson might have never realized his feelings and just felt lonely for the rest of his life. But right now wasn’t the time to thank him.

Carson licked his lips, catching eyes with Charlie again before they moved closer. Carson tightened his hold on Charlie’s thighs, walking towards his room, barely being able to see anything.

He might have hit the wall a few times before they both decided on waiting until they were inside his room. Once they were, Carson gently laid Charlie onto his bed, moving on top of him at the same time.

Carson moved his lips, kissing Charlie on the neck a few times before moving to his cheek and then finally back to his lips.

Carson only moved away again to take off his shirt, Charlie mimicking his move before they both grabbed onto each other again. 

Charlie pushed Carson away, sliding his fingers around Carson’s neck.

“By the way. My score. 9 out of 10.” Carson raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. “Traves was a stiff actor. But you made up for it with a great performance.” Carson finally caught on, smiling. And then slightly laughing as he kissed those red lips once more.

They were finished within a few hours, Carson having to prepare Charlie which was his own entertainment. And then when they finally got into the groove of things Carson had the hard time of not finishing first. Charlie’s moans and the way he moved his body was way too hot that he had to bite his lip to hold back. And he had to impress him this time if they were ever going to do it again. 

Which they both agreed they most definitely were. 

They had fallen asleep, Charlie being the first to wake up in the light of the morning as he cuddled into Carson’s side. Carson holding tightly onto Charlie in his sleep, Charlie felt warm and safe. And even though his ass hurt like a motherfucker, his comfort on the outside of his body trumped that of on the inside.

Charlie was looking at tweets through his phone, trying to come up with his own. He wanted to be his usual stupid humored self but he was too happy to not put the photo of him and Carson. He took it a few days ago, Carson sitting behind him in a chair in his usual glum look as Charlie was smiling like a maniac. 

It had been after PAX and it made Charlie smile. So he quickly typed up a funny caption and dropped his phone to cuddle back into Carson.

Carson quickly woke up as his phone on the bedside table buzzed. He grumbled to himself before noticing something in his arms. He smiled once he saw it was Charlie cutely smiling up at him with bed hair. 

Carson patted Charlie’s hair down a bit before grabbing his phone and clicking on the notification of Charlie’s newest tweet. He stared at the photo and then at the caption before smiling and letting out a small laugh. 

Charlie looked up giving his own laugh.

“I love you. And your weird tweets.” Carson admitted, putting down his phone as he pulled Charlie closer to him. Charlie smiled into his chest, wrapping his arms around him tighter.

“Good. Because I love you and your awkward self.” Charlie answered back, face in Carson’s chest. Carson smiled, closing his eyes before he planted a kiss to Charlie’s head.

“Good.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and hope you liked it.


End file.
